Parents often use adverbs and adjectives，such as "always", "often", "and ", "lazy", "not in-demand", "bad-tempered"
These words give people the feeling of being attacked, accused, giving people labels, making people very uncomfortable.
When the child's performance does not meet the expectations of parents, they will scold and humiliate the child, such as "waste", "useless", "just you, only daydream", "you can sweep the streets", "you can not do anything ".
A careless word, greatly damage dismayed children's self-esteem, lose self-confidence, lose the motivation to move forward.
"I am so hard, just to give you good conditions for school, you do not study hard, can afford me?"
"I'm making money so hard that I'm so bad just for you."
The parents use the guilt of the child and let the child feel that they have a mistake, blame themselves to obey their parents, the child's psychology has a huge negative impact.
"You see other people's children, they all learn so well and sensible. And look at you who always want to fight and argue with me, don't always make me so embarrassing ".
"You see Xiao min ranked first, when can you take the first?"
Let the child in comparison do not lose self-confidence and self-degenerate.
Parents think that child expresses his or her feelings to you is nonsense. Your child is sensitive about petty things. For instance, your child is talking with you while you are busy reading the newspaper or the phone.
Interrupting roughly the child's words.
"Do not say so nonsense, hurry to do homework"
"Don't you see that I'm busy? Wait till we say it! "
"Less talk about other people's affairs, say more about their achievements."
The door of communication between parents and children was inadvertently closed by parents.
" Play this a hundred times, otherwise you can not go out of the room",
"You are so disobedient, just stay outside the door, I don't want you"
"If you can not finish it, don't eat, don't sleep."
Maybe the child obeyed, but the child's heart and parents are more and more distant. The child’s heart is full of fear and resentment.
"I want you to do the topic, you have to do"
"Immediately put down the phone, go to sleep"
"Don't crap so much, hurry to eat, hurry to write homework, hurry to sleep".
The parents feel this makes the child quick, bowed.
However, the child's heart slowly closed, without their own ideas, unable to be independent.
"As a student, you must learn, don't you know?"
"Writing homework so grinding, hurry up"
"You do not study hard, grow up there is no good job."
These let the child feel that they are not trusted, deny themselves. For a long time, they will be tired of learning, lose the motivation to learn.
Parents will be the authority of themselves. I'm100 percent right.
"Don't say it, these are excuses"
"You must be... "
These make the child difficult to distinguish, feel, and frustration, no one understands, is very helpless, and the parents are increasingly alienated."
"You're so good!"
"You work very hard."
Empty praise lets children value the results, no courage to accept failure, frustrated themselves, live in the evaluation of others, can not be very good to understand themselves.