我从未见过懒惰的人； 我见过 有个人有时在下午睡觉， 在雨天不出门， 但他不是个懒惰的人。 请在我胡言乱语之前， 想一想，他是个懒惰的人，还是 他的行为被我们称为“懒惰”？
我从未见过愚蠢的孩子； 我见过有个孩子有时做的事 我不理解 或不按我的吩咐做事情； 但他不是愚蠢的孩子。 请在你说他愚蠢之前， 想一想，他是个愚蠢的孩子，还是， 他懂的事情与你不一样？ 我们说有的人懒惰 另一些人说他们与世无争， 我们说有的人愚蠢 另一些人说他学习方法有区别。
Skills for effective communication with your child
Data analysis of the Teen Parent-Child Interaction Questionnaire during the pandemic showed that 83.58 percent of parents who need learn how to communicate effectively with their children when dealing with conflicts. This article describes three techniques for effective communication.
1. Slow down and let the bullet fly for a while.
In communication, we are always eager to express our views and opinions, especially when we judge the child's behavior and words, we are eager to point out the child's shortcomings and teach the child how to do it. The child's heart door is closing to your teaching. It becomes "teacher talk only". At this point, we must remember, slow down and listen to the child, let he/she finish his/her words.
At this moment, you must have eye contact with the child, response with nod, you can also use "well, I’m listening", "Is there anything else", "Can you say a little more?" to guide the child to say more, when the child speaks more, you get more clues, know more about the origin of things and understand the child's inner feelings.
Slowing down is also reflected in your language. Parents should deliberately slow down their voice. Speak soft language, warms the heart. When communicating with the child, lower volume and gentler voice slows the speed of speech naturally which is a positive psychological hint, help you calm down.
2. Ask good questions. Less affirmative sentences, more questions, gives time for children to think. Usually you should ask open-ended questions. For example: "What was the situation and what happened?" "How did you do that?" "How do you feel?" "What action will you take?" What do you want?” "What is important to you?" "When will you start? "
Strong questions, so that the two sides of communication do not tangle the problem itself but point to the goal, focus on action, give each other the time to think, no longer preconceived, but with an exploratory attitude towards each other's conversation, so as to achieve the goal of solving the problem, and to stimulate internal motivation. Be careful using why, children will have a feeling of being questioned and blamed. You should pay attention to your tone with "why", it must be exploratory. Example: "Not everyone thinks it's very important, could you explain why you care so much about it? "
3, Do not use the words "How do you again", "You always be", "You always", "You are" with the moral judgment, no one likes to be labeled. We want to tell the facts we observe, the specific behavior of the child. There is a little poem that speaks for itself.
I’ve never seen a lazy person; I've seen a man who sometimes goes to bed in the afternoon, don't go out on a rainy day, but he is not a lazy man. Please, before I talk nonsense, think about it, is he a lazy man, or his behavior we call it "lazy"?
I've never seen a stupid child; I've seen a kid do things sometimes I don't understand. or do things not as I told them; But he's not a stupid boy. Please, before you say he's stupid, Think about, is he a stupid kid, or He just doesn't know the same things as you do? We say that some people are lazy. Others say they feel free with the world, We say that some people are stupid. Others say there are differences in their learning approach.